Will Celtics season ticket holders get free Amazon Prime? How many times is it physically possible to foul someone in an NBA game? Are people finally going to start respecting Zion? All these questions answered and more in today’s newsletter…

Today’s Lineup

Hoops News Roundup

A Change for Team USA 🇺🇸

Folks, it's official. Steve Kerr is handing over the reins as Team USA's Head Coach! Kerr helped keep Team USA on top of the basketball world, but now it's time for some fresh blood to take charge. With the 2028 LA Olympics on the horizon, there's no better moment for the next generation of stars to shine and bring some new energy to the court. 🌟

Who's going to fill those shoes Kerr left behind, you ask? There are a couple of hot candidates in the mix, and whoever gets the gig will have the task of leading a talented squad aiming for gold on home soil. No pressure, right?

Free Shipping for the Celtics? 🍀

Celtics fans, get ready for a wild ride. Jeff Bezos, yes, that Jeff Bezos, is reportedly interested in buying the Boston Celtics! With an estimated net worth that could buy the league several times over, Bezos’ entrance into the world of NBA ownership is definitely a game-changer for the reigning champs.

If the Amazon founder ends up taking the Celtics’ reins, the idea of a "luxury tax" might become a thing of the past. After all, when you’re one of the richest people on the planet, what’s a little extra spending? As if the Celtics need any more help…

Zion is looking SCARY 💪

Despite having a great healthy bounce-back year in ‘23-’24, it’s hard to think of another player who catches more unfair flack in the modern NBA these days than our man Zion. But, even the haters have to admit that he’s looking great:

The Pelicans star has purportedly slimmed all the way down to 281 lbs, three pounds lighter than when he was terrorizing opponents on the hardwood at Duke. Could this be the year he makes the jump into high-tier All-Star… or MVP… contention? 👀

Take the Guesswork Out Of Plant-Based Cooking.

Purple Carrot lets you skip the most tedious aspects of preparing plant-based meals. Bypass the grocery store and get delicious ingredients delivered straight to your door.

Try five new, seasonal meals this summer. Pick your Purple Carrot plan here.

Seriously Strange Records

1990 Utah Jazz - 52 fouls in a game

The Stockton-Malone Jazz were the platonic ideal of consistency throughout the 1990s, so it's weird to see them associated with such an insanely undisciplined record, And yet, here we are.

Take it back to early April 1990. The Jazz were facing off against a dangerous Tom Chambers-led Suns team who would go on to beat Utah in the playoffs en route to the WCF. We don't know what got into Utah’s players that day—maybe they'd watched too many Mike Tyson highlights or were just a decade too early on the whole Hack-A-Shaq thing, but they came out fouling and... basically didn't stop.

In a 115-119 OT loss, the Jazz fouled their opponents 52 times. It might not sound that crazy, but let’s put it into perspective. That's almost enough total fouls to foul out an entire 10-man rotation. In fact, since 2010, only two teams have even gotten to 40 fouls in a game! The Suns wound up shooting 80 free throws, only six fewer than the Celtics shot all series in the Finals against the Mavericks last season. 🤯

Walt Bellamy - 88 games played in a season

If we want to talk about a weird NBA record that will literally never be broken, look no further than our main man Walt Bellamy. 

Back in the day, NBA scheduling wasn't the massive operation that it is today. Different teams would get way off track, sometimes playing seven or eight more games than other squads during certain points in the season. Which... led to some interesting phenomena.

In 1968-69, Bellamy started the season with the Knicks but ended up getting traded to the Pistons midway through the year. The thing is, New York had already played 35 games compared to Detroit’s 29, allowing the future Hall of Famer to set a record that looks just plain weird on Basketball Reference—a record 88 games played.

We have a feeling Mikal Bridges would try to break this if he could...

Dennis Rodman - 28 rebounds without scoring

Over 20 years before Kawhi Leonard uttered the famous phrase "Board man gets paid", Dennis Rodman put that saying to the ultimate test.

Back in 1993, after his time with the Pistons and before his multi-colored hair escapades on the Bulls and bromance with Kim Jong Un, the Worm was cleaning the glass for David Robinson’s Spurs. And it was with them on a quiet December night on the road in Charlotte where he made NBA history, grabbing an insane 28 rebounds without a single bucket in sight.

You know what the craziest part is? That was almost a regular occurrence for Rodman that season. In ‘93-’94, he had six different games with zero points and 20+ boards. That’s twice as many as everyone else in NBA history put together. Can't get much weirder than that! 🪱

Three in the Key

Signing Off

Thanks for reading today, y’all! A little thing to remember before you go: spending time comparing your accomplishments to others will only let you down. Instead, focus on doing things for yourself, finding joy, and being a better person around others. ✌️

Talk soon,

-Spencer Poole