🏀 Which player is called "Outback Jesus?"

Can’t you picture Andre Drummond waddling like a penguin? Just us? Alright. We’ll explain why that’s relevant in a bit…but first:

Your new favorite hat has arrived…

Today at 3 pm ET, we’re dropping The Enthusiast Snapback. The two-tone hat features a creme base, royal blue bill, and embroidery with a hint of vintage aesthetic.

Head to enjoybball.com at 3 pm ET SHARP, you won't want to miss this one.

Today’s Lineup

Who is Outback Jesus? We give you the funniest NBA nicknames

Tough Choice: Shaquille O’Neal poses an interesting hypothetical…

Five Times Better? Anthony Edwards explains why he switched from #1 to #5

Coolest Nicknames You’ve Never Heard

Hey boss, big dog, champ, sport! Today we thought, “Why not research some of the best random NBA nicknames we’ve never heard before?” So we did exactly that. We’re not talking about “His Airness” or “King James” today. It’s more in the vein of Nick Young being Bean Burrito, Danilo Galinari as “The Rooster,” and Draymond Green as “Dancing Bear.” If you’ll indulge a few more…

Channing Frye: "Buffet of Goodness"

We’ve never heard of this one, but apparently, Channing Frye is the "Buffet of Goodness." He’s unintentionally hilarious in interviews, but the nickname comes from the versatility of his game: you get a little bit of everything from sweet jumpers and savory hook shots. The best part is that Frye’s mom said Channing made up the nickname himself!

Andre Drummond: "Big Penguin"

In the most loving way possible, we could picture Andre Drummond waddling. Don’t ask us why. Apparently, Drummond doesn’t know why either, but has leaned into it by recording Vines in a penguin costume. Anyways, “Big Penguin” has slid up the all-time rebounding list his way with his towering presence and talent for board-getting. Remember his fire video campaign to make the 2016 All-Star Game featuring an edited Barack Obama rapping Drake’s “Jumpman?”

Moses Malone: "Chairman of the Boards"

This is cold AF in a professional sense. When we think of Moses Malone, we think of a consistent big man who is a top 20 guy all time but never gets the recognition. His nickname reflects that steadiness, leadership, and general excellence. Oh, and he grabbed more boards than nearly every other player in NBA history.

Matthew Dellavedova: "Outback Jesus"

Matthew Dellavedova, known as "Outback Jesus," worked miracles on the court with his hustle and tenacious defense, proving that even down under, they produce basketball gods worthy of admiration! Hounding Steph in the Finals is a miracle worthy of canonization.

David Thompson: "Skywalker"

We genuinely can’t think of a cooler way to describe the gravity-defying dunks of David Thompson, a.k.a. "Skywalker.” Thompson is one of the most underrated guys in NBA history, but he must’ve been using The Force when dropping 73 points in a game for the Nuggets in 1978.

Eric Bledsoe: "Mini-LeBron"

We’ve heard comps to MJ, Kobe, and KD in draft hype and nicknames, but "Mini-LeBron" for Eric Bledsoe takes the crown. While it seems odd that the generally average guard would be compared to The King, Bledsoe’s stout frame, electric athleticism, and powerful drives have royal flashes.

Anthony Morrow: "Chocolate Reign"

If you don’t remember Anthony Morrow, he’s the guy on the wing when you play 2k with the throwback 2016 OKC Thunder. He has an A+ three-point rating, warranting the clever name "Chocolate Reign." Let the threes rain, and long may Anthony rain!

Evan Fournier: "Don't Google"

Just don’t Google his last name.

Pick Two…

The offseason can get dry, but thank goodness the most fun man in the world, Shaquille O’Neal, happened to play professional basketball. He reposted this graphic on his Instagram, then selected himself and Steph Curry. That got us thinking 🤔 

To be fair, Shaq has got a point. The gravity that he and Steph would carry on a basketball court together would rip apart the space-time continuum. Remember in 2019 when the JJ Redick/Joel Embiid dribble handoff action tore apart defenses? This would be that on steroids, times a billion.

But that had us thinking about other combos. The defense of a Jordan/Duncan duo would be uncrackable. The two are a combined 11-1 in the Finals for a reason (shoutout to Ray Allen for the 1.)

Then again, the offensive versatility of a KD/LeBron pairing has zero holes. The best passing forward and the best scoring forward ever on the same team? The 2010s were really the golden age of the small forward position.

Frozen Moments

• Luke Kennard’s high school mixtape went viral and it’s cold AF 🔥 

• Relive D’Angelo Russell’s most ~out there~ outfits of the year 😮 

• DeMar DeRozan dropped 33 points in the Drew League 🧊 

What We’re Enjoying

Anthony Edwards is changing his number from #1 to #5 and gave some really nice reasons for doing so. We feel like we know him better after watching his announcement:

The Phoenix Suns dropped some absolutely fire uniforms! 🔥 We can’t wait to watch KD, Book, and Beal scorch defenses and look fly while doing it. Let us know your thoughts on Twitter ⬇️ 👇

Signing Off

Are you in the NYC area? Then you should pull up to our community hoops run this Saturday, August 5th! Come through to hoop, hang with fellow Enjoyers, and talk ball! RSVP here and bring a friend or three with you! Peace out ✌️

-Conor Geelan

Trivia Answer: If the question is about rebounding, the answer is probably Dennis Rodman. Today is one of those times. Props to The Worm!

Before you go…